In a little while, I’ll be heading to the chaos in the kitchen left over from cooking a Christmas Eve turkey dinner. I won’t mention that the turkey dinner was two days ago. I chose to ignore the mess while I enjoyed Christmas Day without cleaning knowing we could just eat left-overs. The interesting thing is I’m actually looking forward to cleaning up the kitchen. That anticipation makes me ponder why I procrastinate. And I think I’ve come up with some inner motivations.
I love creating order out of chaos. The bigger the chaos, the bigger the order seems when the chaos is dealt with. I think this is why I tend not to pick up after myself all along the way, even though I’m not really making a healthy choice. I think, “I’ll pick this up later when I can do it all at once.” There’s my perfectionistic “all or nothing” tendency.
The underlying motivation of that procrastination, I now realize, is because creating the resulting order is really, really satisfying. I can stand back and say, “Eureka! Look at this sparkling change! What a difference I’ve made! Aren’t I powerful and creative?!”
Of course, this is not entirely conscious at the time. Only now am I putting the puzzle pieces together of this strategy. I’ve seen the puzzle pieces at times but it’s not been clearly pieced together.
Let me know if you can identify the motivation that undergirds any procrastination you choose. I’d love to have your input.
I hope you had a blessed Christmas and I wish you a wonderful New Year’s celebration.