In my last posts, I’ve talked about our early marriage and our first vacation. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about a man. One of my faulty assumptions was that Larry thought like me and I could interpret his behavior based upon how I would act. In other words, if Larry acted a certain way, I could know his motives because if I reacted that way, those would be my motives.
I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about a man. Tweet that!
But guess what? Men are different than women! Hello! Why didn’t I know that? Who knows why, but it sure was an obstacle to a happy marriage. So here is what I began to recognize about our gender differences. But remember these are generalities. They are not one size fits all.
Women value relationships; men value objects and concepts. On our vacation, I wanted emotional connection. Larry wanted connection with his car! I wanted love through connection; he wanted to conquer the road. And heavens, if we stopped to eat or use the restroom! That would mean he would have to catch up with those he had already previously passed.
Women like the process; men like the goal. I looked forward to the the trip itself for connection; Larry loved achieving his goal of the designated location. And once we arrived, he wanted to continue on quickly to the next goal.
Women want to discuss, plan, and get all the details before making a decision. Men usually make quick decisions. In our case specifically, I didn’t like the risk of making a bad decision so I had analysis paralysis. Larry had complete confidence in his decision-making.
Those are just some of the many differences between men and women–generally speaking. So what can we do about it?
- Acknowledge the differences. It doesn’t make anyone bad or good.
- Choose to thank God for them, even if you don’t feel grateful.
- See the advantages of looking at life differently. Where you might be weak in an area, your husband might be strong. Where he is weak, you might be strong. You need each other.
- Use the differences to complete and make whole your perspective.
Proverbs 27:17 tells us that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. We need each other and that’s especially true in marriage. One of the many ways God sharpens us is through having a spouse who thinks differently than us.