Are you starting a new mentoring or lay counseling kind of connection? Do you want to help another or yourself evaluate your spiritual health? (Tweet that!)
I use these 13 questions to start. After I hear the woman’s answers (and of course write them down), over time, I will direct our conversations to the truths that will help her grow closer to God in trust and truth–and counteract the potential lies she expressed in her answers.
1. What does it seem like or feel like you must or should have? The answer could indicate a selfish demand. Direct her toward the truth that God promises to meet all her real needs (Phil 4:19).
- I must be respected.
- I should be loved.
- I hate injustice.
- I hate being treated like a child.
- I told myself I won’t treat my own children like my parents treated me.
- I’m committed to help others get out of pain.
- I never want anyone to see me as weak.
- I hate being seen as not knowing the Bible.
- I’ve always wanted to avoid being in a crisis situation again.
- I want to avoid making God look bad.
- My father yelled at me all the time.
- My teacher belittled my intelligence.
- That God hates divorce.
- Jesus saying to forgive.
- That my husband would meet my needs.
- My mother would recognize how much she hurt me.
- My daughter. When she’s pleased with me, I feel happy.
- Being on the internet. It helps me relax.
- Being acknowledged at work for my accomplishments.
10. If you could change one person’s opinion or perception of you, who would it be and what would it be? The answer could indicate people pleasing. Direct her toward finding her image in her position in Christ (Ephesians 1:18).
- My father and how he thinks I’m not smart.
- My boss and how she thinks I don’t have enough drive to be successful.
11. When you’re not happy, what do you do for escape? The answer could indicate an idol. Direct her toward finding her needs met in Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
- I play games on my phone or on the internet.
- I run or workout but I know it’s excessive.
12. Who are you determined not to be like? The answer could indicate a critical and judgmental spirit. It could also indicate a wound. Direct her toward focusing on Jesus as her example and toward healing of any wound (Philippians 2:5).
- My father. He’s mean.
- My friends from college who were hypocrites.
13. Who do you want to be like, aside from Jesus? The answer could indicate an idol. Direct her toward worshipping only Jesus and being like Him (Philippians 2:5)
- My mother because of the way she has changed over the years.
- My mentor because she never seems to get ruffled.
I hope you’ll find these ideas helpful for your spiritual health.