Book Giveaway time! It’s always a joy to share about great books! This time it’s about Cindi McMenamin’s book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband.
After Cindi shares some wonderful inspiration with us, find out below how to put your name into the drawing. Here’s Cindi…
Three Ways to Restore the Romance with Your Husband
By Cindi McMenamin
Do you ever wish you could turn back the clock, erase the baggage, and have your husband see you the way he once did?
But you might be thinking:
- “But, so much has changed.”
- “The novelty of the relationship has worn off.”
- “I’ve seen his bad moments…and he’s seen mine.”
- “I don’t feel attractive around him anymore. In fact, I feel that he barely even notices me.”
Those thoughts have not only been mine in the past, they’ve belonged to hundreds of other wives I’ve heard from over the past eighteen years who have written to me or talked with me about their frustrations and complaints.
There were nights I would lie awake next to my husband, who was sleeping in sweet oblivion, and wonder how to turn back the clock and make him see me the way he once did – as the captivating woman he fell in love with.
So many times I wished I could have back that man I married…have him treat me the same way he used to. And then I realized there was only one way to have that back. Be the woman I was, and do the things I did when I first captured his heart.
In Revelation 2, The Apostle John records a vision of Christ saying to a First Century church:
“You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first….” (verses 4-5).
While that can be applied to our tendency to grow complacent in our relationship with God, it can be applied to our marriages as well. God is not the only One who recognizes when our enthusiasm for Him has waned. Our husbands recognize it, too. They once received our admiration, our smiles from across the room, our full attention, our constant giggles, our full vigor. Then life happened. Kids came. Work called. We gained a few pounds and a million distractions. And before we knew it…complacency set in.
In my new book, 12 Ways to Experience More With Your Husband, I show wives how to be and remain the woman their husbands fell in love with so they can experience more in their marriage. More trust. More passion. More communication. More understanding. More forgiveness. And more of what you didn’t realize your marriage was capable of.
They will help you curb the complacency in your marriage and start down the road toward removing the baggage, rebuilding the love, and recapturing the romance once again.
A – Accept the fact that your husband cannot meet all your emotional needs.
Your husband was not meant to fulfill you in every way. You must find your acceptance, security, sense of worth, and identity in who God says you are. As you begin to take that tremendous expectation off of your husband and see who you are in the eyes of your Creator and heavenly Father, you will gain the kind of confidence that exudes beauty and elicits pursuit. But if your man doesn’t follow suit, you have done what you need to do to be more able and stable to deal with whatever comes (or doesn’t come) your way. (For more on how to draw closer to God and see Him as your spiritual Husband who can meet all your needs, thereby freeing up your spouse from your emotional expectations, see my book, Letting God Meet Your Emotional Needs.)
B – Be the helper he needs you to be.
In Genesis 2:18, we see that God designed woman to be man’s “helper.” When our focus shifts to “how can my husband help me?” – and we insist on being needed, appreciated, encouraged, and affirmed – we are no longer helping. We are clinging – and in some ways crippling – our husbands. Personally, I have found that I am far more fulfilled when I am focusing on being my husband’s helper and companion, than when I’m accidentally being his complainer and crippler.
C – Cultivate a “new bride” attitude.
Remember when you were a brand new bride? You couldn’t wait until you and your new husband got off work so the two of you could be together again. You constantly checked your voice mail messages to see if he had called during the day. You had a special sparkle in your eyes when you talked of him and a spring in your step when you walked alongside him. There isn’t a woman on earth who doesn’t want her husband to continue to treat her like he did when they first married. But what if we returned to the “new wife” syndrome and starting treating and responding to our husbands the way we once did? Remember what it was about him that made you fall in love with him and then ask God to give you back that loving feeling for him. If you’re waiting for your husband to do something different to win back your heart, I guarantee he will when YOU start responding to him like you once did when you were a new wife.
Which of these ABCs will you focus on this week so you can experience more with your husband?
Thanks, Kathy, for the opportunity to share my new book’s message with your readers. I look forward to giving away a signed copy to one of your blog readers.
Thank you! Cindi for blessing my readers.
I would love to win! Having two littl kids and both being exhausted, this would help me significantly! (California)
Oh yes, Lillian, having a family is exhausting and focusing on our marriage is a challenged priority. We all need to be reminded by Cindi’s words and books to ask God for His help to know the children will only be a short part of our total attention. How important that we can choose in the simplest ways to make our marriage a priority. I’ve put your name into the drawing. I appreciate your faithful reading.
Lillian, I remember those days of trying to juggle life’s responsibilities, and crazy schedules with small children in the home. Those days pass so quickly, but as I say in my book “Your goal is to launch your children into a life of their own but keep your husband for life.” 🙂 Thanks for your comment and pray for a way to let your husband know EVERY day that he is still a priority in your life.
I will be working on letter c. This sounds like a really interesting book and the author is new to me.thank u for giving us a chance to win.
Noelle, thanks for stopping by and commenting on the post to be in the drawing. And I’m so glad you’re inspired by the letter C. We women do want to feel like a beloved bride even if the wedding was years ago. Larry calls me his bride and I love it. I’m so glad he doesn’t call me that based on my responses but it’s also a reminder that I can choose to act like his loving bride in God’s power–who calls me His Bride! Thanks again!
Thanks, Noelle, for reading my blog and for commenting for a chance to win the book. By cultivating a “new bride” mindset you will already see positive changes in your marriage, I’m sure.
A – Accept the fact that your husband cannot meet all your emotional needs.
Yes Yes Yes! I need this reminder for EVERYONE in my life!
Nicci, thank you that you are always faithful to read and comment. And I agree with you. “A” is so very important. I still want Larry to meet all my needs! LOL. So I’m putting you into the drawing. God bless you!
HI Nicci. Thanks for commenting on my guest blog and mentioning that you need to remember that your husband — and everyone else in your life — cannot meet all your emotional needs, only God can. That was the subject of my very first book and remains the underlying message in everything I write and speak about, as it’s so paramount to improving our relationship with God and others. Thanks again for your comment and your interest in my newest book. Blessings!
Hi Kathy & Cindi!
I am on a week long road trip with my husband of 27 years. I’ll be happy to concentrate on C!
Cindi, my girlfriends and I are currently doing a book/bible study with your book Drama. I would love to win 12 Ways to Experience More With Your Husband and read this one next! Thank you for the opportunity!! (We live in Minnesota & Alaska)
Hi Kari. I hope you are enjoying your trip with your husband and what a great opportunity to practice “C”. Hope it’s like a new bride time. Travel safe. I’ve put your name into the drawing.
Hi Kari: Great to hear from another Minnesota gal who is going through “Drama Free.” Thanks for wanting to read this book of mine, too. Enjoy that road trip. 🙂
A- accept that my husband can’t meet all my needs. My husband and I have been married for almost 25 1/2 years and I’m in a different stage in my life( the change ) and I’m realizing that I need more acceptance from the Father and not my husband because I honestly confuse my husband with the mood swings and so forth.
I just finished a little of your steps to pray for the wayward child. You are an amazing. I can’t wait to get some of your books. I know that they will be encouraging.
I live in Wake Forest NC
Thanks, Kelly, for taking the time to comment and for reading my steps on praying for a wayward child. I can relate to those “changes” you referred to and my husband feels a lot less of the load when He knows I am looking to God first (and not to him) for all that I need. Thanks for your interest in this newest book of mine.
Hi Kelly, I love your insight and it’s needed for all of us, no matter how long we’ve been married–even me at going on 48 years of marriage! Thank you for encouraging all of us. We do “confuse” our emotions by blaming–at least I do! The emotions seem so very very real. I’m glad you enjoy Cindi’s books. I hope my readers also take the opportunity of getting her books. Thanks for entering the drawing.
Working on ‘C’. Am keeping a small notebook that I write in, to my husband daily. Started it on Valentine’s Day and will go to his birthday in September. I find it helps. We both need a reset after years of ugliness.
Wow, Cheryl, what a fantastic idea. Thank you for sharing it with my readers. I’ve put your name into the drawing. God bless you and thanks for stopping by.
Thanks, Cheryl, for sharing with us what you are doing to bless and encourage your husband. And I’m encouraged to hear you are focusing your heart on a reset after “years of ugliness.” So many marriages (including mine) need that reset now and then. I’m so glad that God is a God of second and third and a million chances, aren’t you? 🙂
As a husband, father, pastor, and writer from Indiana, I really appreciate what you are doing to encourage wives to become better wives. On the flip side, as husbands, we have a responsibility and duty to also woo our wives off the floor. We get complacent and focus on work or anything else that takes our attention. She deserves to be served, loved, and sought after as well. Thanks so much again for sharing with many.
Thank you so much, Nate, for saying that on this thread of comments. I think it’s encouraging to wives to know their husbands really do believe this, they sometimes are just at a loss of how to communicate it. Thanks again for representing the male voice here and for admitting that, like wives, husbands get complacent too. Together, when both parties in the marriage love sacrificially and serve the other, great things happen. 🙂
Thank you so much, Nate, for including a wise man’s perspective. It really does take two! Even the most wonderful wife cannot “make” her husband respond any different. She can only respond lovingly as she receives God’s empowerment and leave the results up to Him. Thanks for giving us the flip side. I’ve put your name into the drawing and if you win, I know your wife will enjoy it. God bless you and keep up the great work for the Lord’s glory.