Feeling Alone Can Bring Shame?
Shame is a subtle feeling of “not enough” and “never enough.” A sense of dirtiness or wanting to hide can accompany those lies when we are alone or feel lonely. This shame in us can cause us to want to react in anger as a way to communicate “don’t see me as shameful.” Just as we’ll see that Jesus knew He wasn’t alone because His Father was with Him, you and I can have that same assurance in order to fight against the lies of shame.Jesus could have felt shame because He experienced many times being alone and on His own
Let’e examine Matthew 26:50-54.
Then they came up and laid hands on Jesus and seized him. And behold, one of those who were with Jesus stretched out his hand and drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his ear. Then Jesus said to him, “Put your sword back into its place. For all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels? But how then should the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must be so?” (Matthew 26:50-54)
Two of the powerful characteristics of shame is the isolation and helplessness we feel. The dirtiness of shame makes us want to hide, be invisible, and unknown. We find it almost impossible to think anyone could be on our side or understand our battle.
In the Scripture above, Jesus tells angry Peter to stop trying to protect what God doesn’t want protected. Jesus is not angry, helpless nor isolated. Jesus does not accept any identity of shame when those around Him might think, “Jesus isn’t too smart. He picked some out-of-control guy to represent him. Doesn’t he know he’s caught and can’t escape?”
Calm Jesus tells Peter amidst all the confusion His Father is protecting His Son, just not the way Peter thinks of protection. If Jesus asked, the Father could send twelve legions of angels. A legion is a division of the Roman army including more than 6,000 men; therefore, Jesus could have asked for the help of 72,000 angels. Regardless whether this is symbolic or meant to be exact doesn’t matter. It is enough. More than enough. Jesus refuses to receive even heavenly help because he is sold out on God’s plan.
We can confidently believe God will supply our strength to resist anger because He is with us. His empowering in us comes from us seeing life with an eternal perspective: our guilt and shame are already destroyed and we are viewed as holy and blameless in God’s eyes (Ephesians 1:4). If 72,000 angels are needed to deliver us from our shame, God would cheerfully send them. But the only thing needed is one sinless Son of God dying on the cross and rising from the dead.
We see the theme of Hebrews 12:1-3. Jesus didn’t want deliverance because otherwise He would not fulfill His Father’s salvation plan. He also would be without the joy of pleasing His Father and providing for believers who will be welcomed into His kingdom.
Be assured, if it is better for you in your fight against shame to have 72,000 angels fight for you, God will provide. You are not alone.
God never wants you to buy into the lie you are on your own and there is no hope. The Holy Spirit within you offers you your greatest hope and help.
(This is an excerpt from my soon-to-be published book, Anger Management: Jesus Style. In my book, we look at Jesus’s examples of dealing with anger in righteous ways. One of the topics will be how anger can result from feeling shame.)
Such an encouraging thought. Thank you 😊
Jennifer, thank you so much for commenting. I’m encouraged that you found my words encouraging! God bless you.
Anger is a powerful human emotion, and as you point out, is often a defensive one. Learning to control our angry outbursts requires both self-control and confidence in the One who can empower us with the strength and wisdom needed to exercise His gift of self-control. Sounds like a much-needed book, ma’am.
I love your summary of complex issues, J.D. Thank you for commenting and I also hope others see my next book on anger as important.