How Do You Label Your Anger?
I Say, “He Drives Me Nuts”
Many times we don’t realize we are feeling angry. We give it other names, other identities. We might blame others. I love this meme because in the situation of someone calling when I want to do something, I can easily justify that they shouldn’t bother me. I justify my irritation and think it’s not hurting anyone.
One of my concerns about using the word “Anger” in the title of my soon-to-be-published book (Anger Management–Jesus Style) is that people will think my book doesn’t apply to them. We can think:
- I don’t get angry, I just get miffed.
- I don’t get angry, I’m just aggravated at times.
- I don’t get angry, I’m just irritated.
- I don’t get angry, I’m upset.
Even those mild reactions can be harmful and hurtful–to others and ourselves. And at the core, we may be distrusting God who is sovereign and in charge of everything in our lives, even the obstacles. Like someone calling us.
Want to know one of my “fun” labels? I say, “he drives me nuts.”
Here’s my story and of course the culprit is my husband, Larry. Poor guy.
Larry says, “Why do we need to buy more eggs? We have plenty.”
Frustration and anger begin to rise within me. I tell myself, “Anger is crouching at the door. Lord, show me why this bothers me so much.”(Remember God’s words to Cain?) I slow down and get in touch with the feelings of danger. Larry is judging my planning capabilities.
Then I ask myself, “Lord, when did something happen that felt dangerous about my planning capabilities?”
The Holy Spirit shines a spotlight on that third-grade little girl. “Oh wow, the molestation. In effect, I didn’t plan well. I judged myself as putting myself in a dangerous position. I was stupid to not see the danger.”
Then I ask the Holy Spirit, “Lord, is that true I put myself in that position?”
He assures me I could never have seen what was coming. Even if I’d known I would be molested, what happened does not define my worth and value. If in a situation I do choose stupidity or sin, then I can ask God to forgive me and cleanse me. My worth in Christ still doesn’t change. But when I was in third grade, not only did I not see the danger coming, but I also could not have done anything to prevent it.
I take a deep breath and rehearse who God says I am. If the feelings don’t dissipate completely, I continue to review the truth and reject the lies.
I now have the courage to explain to Larry what I’m planning and regardless of whether he agrees with me, I am safe in Jesus’s loving arms. If we run out of eggs, I’m still not stupid. (And yes, we bought more eggs!)
How do you feel or what do you think when you see a book with the word “anger” in the title? I’d love to know.
