I Have Breast Cancer
Those are words I never thought I’d think about myself, say or write about. But it’s true. On Wednesday, December 8, 2021, I learned I have invasive ductal carcinoma. If you’d like to follow my journey into this new territory, you can go to my page that includes prayer requests, devotional thoughts, and updates on God’s work. CLICK HERE
But here on this blog post, I want to share with you how God prepared me for this new adventure, and I didn’t have a clue how God was working six weeks before my diagnosis.
I was enjoying sitting on the deck of a retreat center overlooking a beautiful valley vista. Oak trees dotted the area and several were right in front of me. Woodpeckers and other birds flew back and forth continually. When one would occupy one twig, another one would fly by. Then the first one would fly off. Up to twenty birds were continually scattering among the huge oak trees never alighting for more than thirty seconds.
The tapping of the woodpeckers on the wood of the trees and the buildings interrupted my thoughts. Each woodpecker stayed tapping only a short snippet of time.
On the move. On the move. On the move. Every one of them seemingly anxious to find a new spot. They seemed to be unsettled, erratic, aimless, and without direction.
What motivated them to move from tree to tree, from branch to branch, from high in the tree to low in the tree? I didn’t know.
In the midst of observing this seemingly chaotic scene, I suddenly knew God’s message through the birds.
Although Jesus created and designed the endless work of the woodpecker, Jesus was never like the birds I observed. I reflected on His journey as a human. I could picture him walking from town to town. There’s never any indication of tension, unrest, lack of confidence or confusion.
He never demanded other people to “stay still” so that He could remain at peace and inner rest. His peace came from a complete dependence upon His Father’s will.
Jesus didn’t flit from one plan, passion, purpose, perception to another.
Jesus was secure, settled, resolute, confident, unrattled, poised, and peaceful.
Jesus’s confidence came from the truth He spoke:
“you will know that I am he, and that I do nothing on my own authority, but speak just as the Father taught me. And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” (John 8:28-29 ESV)
I was meditating on that truth when God gave me a gift from a woodpecker.
As you can see from the photo, I was sitting about twenty feet away from a post that secured two bells and it seemed to be a favorite place for the woodpeckers to alight and look over the valley.
At one point, just as a woodpecker flew off from the cross bar, I noticed something very tiny fall off the place where the bird had left. I expected it would fall to the ground quickly, thinking it was a tiny piece of wood. But it began floating.
And it continued floating peacefully very, very slowly. I realized it was a feather from the woodpecker.
At any moment I expected it to float out of my sight but instead it floated closer and closer to me for more than a minute, maybe even two minutes.
As the seconds passed, I kept thinking, “There’s no way it’s going to come close to me. What would be the chances of that?” I wanted to stand and reach out for it but feared I would create a slight breeze and chase it away. I sat waiting.
As I continued staring at it coming closer and closer, my awe increased. And finally, the woodpecker feather landed on the deck at my feet.
As I now face God’s invitation that could bring feelings of unrest, distrust, fear, confusion, and many other feelings and temptations, I reflect on Jesus’s peace and confidence.
And His gift of the woodpecker feather as a reminder He wants to strengthen me with His peace.
I won’t be perfect in abiding in confidence and peace like Jesus did. But I will learn more and more to allow God to work in my life the way He desires for His glory.
I have remembered that experience especially now in this new journey because it reminds me of Jesus’s peace and confidence. No, He never “floated,” but I believe He caused that feather (pictured here) to peacefully float toward me and land at my feet affirming He was always peaceful, confident, and obedient to His Father’s will.
His promise to me—and to you—is:
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.—Psalm 138:8 ESV
Again, if you would like to read more about my cancer journey, I’ve set up a separate page on my website. You can follow my journey CLICK HERE.
And if you like, you can also sign up/subscribe to receive my newest updates, prayer requests, and thoughts there.
Breast cancer might be something you have, but it is NOT who you are my friend. Remember too that you have eternal life, devoted friends, and a Mr. Larry who loves you more than life itself. Also remind yourself daily that you have God with you (Immanuel) and He will never leave you or forsake you. Whatever path God has decided your journey will take, know that I’m praying for you along each step my dear friend. God’s blessings. May all joy be yours; may all glory be God’s.
Thank you, J.D., for sharing such important wisdom at such a time as this. And I so appreciate you praying for me. I know the Lord will be glorified!
Kathy,
I will pray for you everyday. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
Big hug,
Mona.
Oh, Mona, I appreciate your loving support so very much. Thank you!
Praying for you and knowing God is listening. Hugs!
Thank you so very much, Melissa. It means a lot!
What a beautiful serendipity, my friend! Sometimes, it amazes me how Christ reveals himself to us. It’s funny you began your post with “Those are words I never thought I’d think about myself, say or write about.” I recall those feelings from my own journey with cancer. But as we know, God uses everything to His glory. And what an incredible opportunity to have moments like this one, and to get to show with your life the incredible messages of God’s grace. Your feather reminds me of a phrase / title that sprang into my head years and years ago that I’ve never quite understood until now. It’s poetic, but made no sense to me. But it fits perfectly with this. Sing a Feather Down. 🙂 Now I think I understand it’s nature. To view a glimpse of God’s nature is a wondrous thing.
Tracy, thank you for your encouraging words and support. And I’m so glad the Lord brought you safely through cancer.
It’s so fun to hear about “Sing a Feather Down.” Wow! Isn’t that remarkable? Indeed, to view of glimpse of God’s nature is a wondrous thing. Thank you for writing!
Kathy,
I have been through three types of cancer, and one of them was breast. Keep praying and don’t give up.
Oh, my, Theresa! You have gone through a lot. I’m so glad the Lord has kept you safe through it all. Obviously, He has strengthened you and I’m sure He is using you to encourage others. Thank you for supporting me through my journey with your loving prayer support.
Thank you for sharing, Kathy, so we can be praying with you. Lord surround Kathy with Your strength, comfort, excellent medical professionals, and total healing in whatever process brings You the most glory. Thank You
Rosalie, I’m soaking up your prayer knowing God has heard you. It brings me great comfort. Thank you.
Oh Kathy, you are on my heart and I will pray for you! When I met you at the retreat, I was waiting for my follow up diagnostic mammogram/ultrasound. (It out to be nothing.) But oh the precious lessons God taught me during that month of waiting! And He is right there with you, speaking to your heart as you begin this journey. He loves you and has a marvelous plan for you, and I love that you are so willing to follow where He leads.
Oh my, Lisa, then you know the journey. I praise God you didn’t have cancer. Even though I do, how wonderful we can trust our sovereign Lord and Master for our individual journeys. He is definitely creative! As my sister and I love to say, “God is multi-tasking again.” Thank you so much for your caring and prayer support. I know it!