I’m the Queen of Second Guessing. You know, I’ll say something and ask myself later: “Should I have said that?” Or I’ll do something and ask myself later: “Should I have done that?”
It’s so easy to question myself afterwards and then write a script of what the person is thinking or feeling—and of course, how they now hate me! And certainly, they are talking about me to others and complaining about me.
The worst part is thinking that my choices have ruined our relationship. Even more horrifying is thinking my choices have ruined their relationship with God.
This just happened a few days ago. I still can’t figure out why I responded the way I did. If I could only do it over again, I would do what seems to be the “right thing” now! And Satan tried hard to keep me awake that night—and the next—worrying about it.
But there’s a solution to Second-Guessing! Ask: Did God lead me in that way? Tweet that!
The issue isn’t what happens from our choice. But whether God led us—regardless of the result.
The question is always: did God guide me? We can’t judge God’s guidance based upon the results. There’s no wrong or right way to know if what we did was right or wrong. The result could be disastrous but if God led us to respond in that way, then it doesn’t matter. He’s in charge of the result. At that point, we must trust God to work.
Another consideration is: what was our motive? That could reveal whether we were being empowered by the Lord. (Tweet that!) If our reaction is to pay back or defend ourselves or to prevent being seen in an unattractive way, then most likely God didn’t guide us.
If our motive wasn’t godly, even then He is in charge and can use it for good as He promises in Romans 8:28. And then we have a new opportunity to seek His guidance: “Lord, what do you want me to do now about my wrong motive?”
He may want me to do nothing or seek that person’s forgiveness. It’s another opportunity to look to Him and depend upon Him.
Ah, life is a constant challenge of seeking God’s guidance!
It’s always about the heart: did we obey God and what was our motive? (Tweet that!)
I don’t know that I’ll ever be completely cured of Second Guessing. But God is using it to reveal my motives and to teach me to look to Him even more.
How do you deal with any of your Second Guessing tendencies?
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I can so identify with your Second Guessing tendency. I just did a BIG one early this week and have been seeking God's help on resolution. I think once we have made a decision…and this one was made with consideration from husband and prayer…but still I beat myself up! I did share with a friend and she advised me to take more time with making decisions…really, if it is something God wants me to do…I should never be in a hurry. So now…I hope to have less of those second-guess moments. Thanks for your post as as usual…it hits the spot!!
Thank you, for sharing Penelope. You know I can relate. I'm sure the Lord will continue to work on this area, because he sure is continuing to work on it in me! And thank you for your encouraging words. It means a lot.