Sneak peek of “God’s Heart for Your Marriage: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series.”

Yes, it’s a women’s Bible study with ten lessons covering 10 topics about marriage. You’ll find a list of the topics below in the Table of Contents. I hope you are as excited as I am.

In the lesson on how a couple can grow into valuing the same godly things, I feature Abigail and Nabal who, of course, don’t value the same things. In the midst of the biblical account, David enters the scene and we learn how Abigail handles a stressful situation. Those qualities are the same ones which help her have godly reactions to her ungodly husband, Nabal. (Examination of how things go for Abigail and Nabal are also addressed in the Lesson.)

First, here’s the biblical back story.

When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent.Now then, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live. (I Samuel 25:23-28 ESV)

Here’s the excerpt from “God’s Heart for your Marriage.” See what qualities you can identify about Abigail which will help you.

Abigail’s wisdom was remarkable, and we could easily wonder if she was surprised by David’s softened response. She must have been nervous as anyone would be. She was bold and yet humble. The fact David later proposes marriage indicates he regards her courage in a positive light. Knowing he would be king later, he recognized his wife must not be a threat to his decisions (as his wife Michal is in 2 Samuel 6:16–22). Being too bold could be a thorn in his side.

We don’t know what Abigail already knows about David, but apparently, she has heard about his calling from God. She points out God’s work in preventing David from acting in an ungodly way (v. 26) and emphasizes the right ways David responded so far, even though his attitude has not been perfect. In this whole account, she is an example of grace that is not “all or nothing.” She honestly points out both the good and the unwise emphasizing how God is involved even more than David recognizes.

She also urges David to think of God’s chosen role for him as future king (1 Samuel 16:13).

She affirms his heart’s desire for a righteous reign. Although we don’t know how she can identify his motives, she beautifully calls out the best in this man.

Read that again. She beautifully calls out the best in this man even though she knows he is imperfect.

A wise wife will do the same by speaking of ways God might want to use her husband, even if he has no spiritual vision for the future. Her job is not to force such a future but to affirm the spiritual gifts and abilities God wants to use. Doing this for God’s glory requires facing the fear saying anything positive will only encourage him to focus on neglecting her needs. Trusting God as Abigail did gives confidence and peace in God who can motivate an imperfect man to turn from his selfish ways.

What did you think of the excerpt?

Wow! What a powerful work of God to strengthen Abigail to give wisdom to David to trust God. What qualities did you see? How about humble? Trusting God? Non-defensive? Gives a blessing to David. Sees his good qualities yet knew he is imperfect.

I’m encouraged to evaluate whether I am that kind of encourager to my husband Larry?

I hope you’ll be ready to purchase my book when it’s ready. Let me know what you think.

Table of Content

Lesson 1—Marriage: Revealing God’s Relationship with His Church

Lesson 2—Can We Talk? Rebekah and Isaac

Lesson 3—How Do I Love You? Gomer and Hosea

Lesson 4—Do We Value the Same Thing? Abigail and Nabal

Lesson 5—Let’s Face Temptation Together. Eve and Adam

Lesson 6—Can We Work This Out? Sarah and Abraham

Lesson 7—We Are Committed. Michal and David

Lesson 8—I’m Here For You. Zipporah and Moses; Job and His Wife

Lesson 9—Let’s Grow Together. Priscilla and Aquila; Jezebel and Ahab

Lesson 10—Let’s Celebrate Our Marriage. The Bride and Solomon

Each chapter ends with a “Letter from God.” Here is the one for Lesson 4.

My Precious Princess and Daughter,

I know you feel strongly about certain values. I know conflicting opinions with your husband cause you anguish. You may think going to church as a family is essential, yet he would rather golf on Sunday mornings. You may think consistent discipline of the children is necessary, yet your husband is far too lenient–or harsh—in your opinion. You may love to spend extended time praying over an issue, yet your husband prefers one or two sentences.

I would ask you, my precious one, to relax a bit and let me work. Let me be his Holy Spirit rather than your many words of wisdom. I know the work I’m doing, and I’m not in a hurry. Share your ideas as tantalizing tidbits, not as the final say. Remember, I gave him the headship responsibilities in your marriage and family. He must answer to me. And I expect you to honor him as you would me.

I know you want to please me. Trust my power and ability to work. Hold your values up to the standard of my Word. But if I have not spoken in my Word on a topic, and I lead your husband in a different direction, will you trust me? Remember. I want only the best for you.

Lovingly,

Your Heavenly Father, the King