The Lie I Believed About Marriage
I don’t remember exactly when I first decided as a child that the stability of my parents’ marriage meant my future marriage would always be stable. 
But I realized I had done that when my mom left the house because she was so unhappy. I was newly married and the shock of hearing the news stunned me. I can clearly feel again the emotional jolt and the thought that rocked my world, “Then I guess it’s just a matter of time before the same thing happens to Larry and me.”
As a result, I began to not only feel fearful of that seeming eventuality, but I began to look for evidence that it was about to happen–that Larry and my “stability” would be destroyed. The more I looked for tell-tale signs, the more I could find.
My fear tore away at my faith in God’s ability to stabilize my marriage in difficult times. TWEET THAT!!!!
My perfectionism, which I had not yet identified, created an all or nothing world. If Larry didn’t love me perfectly all the time, it meant he had fallen out of love with me. I expected the inevitable: our marriage wouldn’t last.
The fact that my mom returned to my dad and they were reunited didn’t seem as significant as the initial jolt that eroded my idea marriage could be a commitment.
Instead, I believed the lie: since my parents’ marriage can’t make it, no one can, including mine. TWEET THAT!!!
If my parents were still alive, they would be celebrating their anniversary on February 1st. I’m showing a photo of them on their wedding day. They did “last” until my father died suddenly at age 50 of a heart attack. They enjoyed wonderful years together after that very short separation.
Larry and I will be celebrating our 52nd anniversary this coming June.
Obviously, we’ve both learned marriage is a commitment through the hard times and the easy. The disappointing and the joyful times. Again…obviously, the example of another couple doesn’t mean anything about my own marriage. God must be the central core of the strength to keep a commitment to love, with or without feelings.
I honor my parents. Thank you, mom and dad, for persevering even though you struggled. I appreciate you.
(If you would like to learn more about how believing lies in childhood can affect our current choices, check out Larry and my book: Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today) 
Marriage certainly isn’t “easy”, but it can be enjoyable and even fun when you’re both grounded in Christ and working toward the same goal. While on our second marriage, Ms. Diane and I learned some difficult lessons, and will be married 25 years this year. The work God had to do to break both of us and teach us what we could and could not accept in a spouse has made all the difference in the world. This isn’t to say that we don’t have our challenges with each other now and again, but with God’s help, I’ve no doubt this one is “till death does us part.” Of course, I think we’re both praying the Rapture! 🙂
J.D., that is a great description of God using marriage, even those that don’t work out, to sanctify us and create a need to be sanctified. I always appreciate your insights.