Teenagers! Love some? Know some?
I’m so excited to feature Letitia Suk’s new book, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens. You may win a copy! Read below about how to enter the drawing.
Three Sample Tips to Encourage your Parenting Heart
by Letitia Suk
Have your own traveling tales from the intricate passage from kid to young adult?
My new book, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens is a grab and go guide to read along the way during these exciting, challenging, and delightful years.
Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.
Here are three samples from 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens:
Rewind that Conversation
Many of us have been on both sides of rushed, heated, confrontational, or just “bad attitude” conversations. It may have come from us or be directed to us. A simple way to change the tone is just to ask to re-do it.
“Do you think we can start this conversation over?” is a good question. When emotion is high, a simple, “Whoa, start over please” is a very effective phrase. Rather than escalating, a rewind usually takes the conversation in a much more positive direction.
Differentiate Between Rules and Policies
Try fewer rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it; a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.
Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear. Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion.
Wave the White Flag
If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it, but it is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone has to be the adult and stop the yelling, door slamming or silent treatment. Might as well be you!
Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging YOUR part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair to you.” “I was reacting rather than deciding after what happened, let me think about it some more.” “I don’t like the coldness between us, can we work on making-up?”
Asking for forgiveness when you have hurt your teen and reacted in ungodly ways is also a huge step but necessary to move on. Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever. What your teen sees from you about resolving conflict will shape their future as well.
Interested in reading more? 97 more tips are available in 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.)
- Interspersed with Scripture
- Beautiful full-color interior design
- Presentation page for personalization
- Ribbon marker
- Makes a great mother’s day or birthday gift for mom!
Letitia, this book sounds fabulous! I’m so excited my readers now know about it and can enter the drawing to win it.
My friends, you can enter the drawing to win Letitia’s book by making a comment on my blog post at my website. The drawing will end on midnight, Monday, July 15th. Only those with US mailing addresses can enter to win. In case you can’t wait to see if you win, you can purchase it at: https://amzn.to/2DxrE1M
Letitia Suk is a retreat leader, speaker, personal life coach, hospital chaplain, blogger, and the author of Getaway with God and Rhythms of Renewal. She and her husband, Tom, a marriage and family therapist, live in the Chicago area and are parents of four grown children.