The biblical book of Proverbs offers wisdom for parenting.
God cares about the challenges we face as parents. He knows the pain and confusion. He knows we will be imperfect in our responses and is working more in our children’s lives than we realize.
Only Jesus was a perfect “parent” as He discipled the disciples. Yet even though each disciple struggled, Jesus didn’t blame himself.
Besides blaming ourselves, other factors contribute to our confusion.
Sometimes our own past behavior as a child can negatively affect the way we respond to children. If we were rebellious in childhood and suffered the consequences, we might overreact. We might react too strongly while giving consequences because we are determined to prevent that child from suffering consequences like we did. Or if we received strong consequences yet still rebelled, we might decide we need to be more soft-hearted.
Another influencing factor is how our spouse responds to our children. If a husband/father is very strict and lacks an emotional bond, we might be lenient to try to overcorrect. Or if the husband/father is largely unavailable, we might think we have to be both mother and father and over-correct with harshness.
Many moms and dads are terrified of responding incorrectly fearing they will ruin their child.
They think they are totally responsible for all of their child’s future choices. But all children are needy because of immaturity. Parenting is a challenging role, but we can grow in dependence upon God, who is the only perfect “parent.”
Remember, our child needs to be needy so that she will need God.
Let Proverbs give you hope in your parenting. Here are some Proverbs verses. I’ve included the verse/verses and my thoughts. Think what you’re comments would be.
Proverbs 13:24: Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Use physical discipline wisely by calmly and consistently giving a spanking. (Note: Although I believe spanking can be effective, it’s a personal decision and must never be done in anger).
Proverbs 19:18: Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Disciplining by giving a consequence actually gives hope to your child. Hebrews 12:5-6 says that giving discipline helps a child feel loved and a part of the family.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
We should be careful not to think of this as a promise but a general observation about life. Most important is to know our child and what is important to him or her. “The way he should go” refers to God’s plan for him, not what we think is best.
Proverbs 22:15: Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
In the beginning of my parenting, I thought, “I don’t need to do anything. My child will learn on his own.” That’s not wise nor the truth. Every child instinctively wants their own way. Only some sort of discipline, which means giving consequences, will help them see the right way. Otherwise, the problems of life will overwhelm them as they grow.
What parenting tip could you offer to encourage other parents? Please let us know in the comment section of my blog.
This post is an excerpt from my women’s Bible study book, Heart Wisdom: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. In that study book, I offer ten lessons on a variety of topics which are addressed in Proverbs. Learn more here: Heart Wisdom 
I love this post Ms. Kathy. Proverbs is always among the first book I encourage new Christians to read. It is filed with principles that apply to our entire life. I especially enjoyed your note on disciplining your children consistently and with love; NEVER when you’re angry. Some of my greatest regrets come from things i say or do when angry. God’s blessings ma’am.
Thank you, J.D. I really appreciate your support and encouragement. You have spoken truth that I trust the Lord will use to encourage those young parents who read your comment.
I know that meting out discipline is difficult for parents. It’s like punishing yourself especially if you have threatened a consequence and now you have to go through with it. But if you don’t, you will no longer have the power to transform your child’s behavior. The consequence then becomes yours. You will not be able to lead your child. So, if you say No, make sure you can not be moved to say Yes. The whining will follow. Move away to another room. Say, I won’t change my mind. Keep your power while they are young. The tantrums need to be dealt with, not by a spanking, but by firmness. Say, “That behavior is never going to work. “ and walk away. Your toddler may stand up and follow you. Turn and say, “No, you may not follow me acting like that.” He will stop and shrug. Once your baby understands tantrums don’t work, you will show them strength and model how God disciplines us. Consequences are learning moments for us all. Without them, we are going to repeat the wrong behavior. Just like a toddler who gets rewarded for his tantrum because the parent didn’t want to hear the protest, he will grow stronger in his rebellion, we too, must learn that we are only truly happy when we do the right things and please our Father in heaven. We also don’t want to be ignored. Discipline is about showing love with the knowledge that if you give in to all your child’s demands, you are creating a person who expects you to provide all their needs with no effort on their part. Have you ever given God a list of wants and realized He was saying No? We grow through long suffering. Our children do too. Love your child. Give him what he needs: Faithfulness , that you keep your promises. Fairness, that the punishment fits the crime and is not about how you behaved. Firmness, don’t be a doormat. Follow through, if you said “If you don’t clean your room today, you won’t be going to the party.” If she doesn’t obey, she doesn’t go. No arguments, no negotiating! A contract is a contract. It’s amazing how that toddler grows up to know what he is expected to do and does his homework, cleans up after himself, doesn’t need to be nagged. The peace in your home is you reward!
Thank you, Estella, for your wisdom and experience.I know everyone who will read your comment will benefit!