Teenagers! Love some? Know some?
I’m so excited to feature Letitia Suk’s new book, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens. You may win a copy! Read below about how to enter the drawing.
Three Sample Tips to Encourage your Parenting Heart
by Letitia Suk
Have your own traveling tales from the intricate passage from kid to young adult?
My new book, 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens is a grab and go guide to read along the way during these exciting, challenging, and delightful years.
Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.
Here are three samples from 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens:
Rewind that Conversation
Many of us have been on both sides of rushed, heated, confrontational, or just “bad attitude” conversations. It may have come from us or be directed to us. A simple way to change the tone is just to ask to re-do it.
“Do you think we can start this conversation over?” is a good question. When emotion is high, a simple, “Whoa, start over please” is a very effective phrase. Rather than escalating, a rewind usually takes the conversation in a much more positive direction.
Differentiate Between Rules and Policies
Try fewer rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it; a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.
Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear. Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion.
Wave the White Flag
If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it, but it is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone has to be the adult and stop the yelling, door slamming or silent treatment. Might as well be you!
Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging YOUR part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair to you.” “I was reacting rather than deciding after what happened, let me think about it some more.” “I don’t like the coldness between us, can we work on making-up?”
Asking for forgiveness when you have hurt your teen and reacted in ungodly ways is also a huge step but necessary to move on. Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever. What your teen sees from you about resolving conflict will shape their future as well.
Interested in reading more? 97 more tips are available in 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.)
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Interspersed with Scripture
- Beautiful full-color interior design
- Presentation page for personalization
- Ribbon marker
- Makes a great mother’s day or birthday gift for mom!
Letitia, this book sounds fabulous! I’m so excited my readers now know about it and can enter the drawing to win it.
My friends, you can enter the drawing to win Letitia’s book by making a comment on my blog post at my website. The drawing will end on midnight, Monday, July 15th. Only those with US mailing addresses can enter to win. In case you can’t wait to see if you win, you can purchase it at: https://amzn.to/2DxrE1M
Letitia Suk is a retreat leader, speaker, personal life coach, hospital chaplain, blogger, and the author of Getaway with God and Rhythms of Renewal. She and her husband, Tom, a marriage and family therapist, live in the Chicago area and are parents of four grown children.
I am a mom of 2 teen girls and a teen boy. I could use your insight. Thanks for sharing
Debbie, I know you’ll love it whether you win it or buy it. I already bought one for my daughter! I’ve put your name into the drawing. Thanks for stopping by.
Thanks, Debby…raising teens can be overwhelming and you’ve got three! Hope the book offers help and hope to you!
As the mother of two teens, this sounds like a great book. This is a fantastic giveaway!
Patti, thanks so much for entering the drawing. I know you’ll love the book. I remember when I was the mom of two teens. What a ride. I wish I had this book. I bought a book for my daughter so I’m so glad it’s available. If you don’t win it, I hope you’ll purchase it.
As a Mom of a teenage daughter on the Autism Spectrum I can really use this book! Tips on diffusing emotions is so important in our relationship as so many times I’m just worn out and over react. Thanks for this opportunity!
Oh Kim, I know and I’m sure many of my readers know the challenges of a child on the Spectrum. Our hearts go out to you. I’m confident this book will strengthen you. And here’s my prayer: “Lord Jesus, give Kim extra confidence that you have strengthened her more than she realizes and that you redeem all things. You were a “Parent” to a group that didn’t obey you. And you wisely didn’t take responsibility. So I pray for Kim to know you are her daughter’s real perfect parent and will fulfill your perfect will for her. Thank you Lord for loving Kim and her daughter. I pray in Jesus’s Name. Amen.” Thanks again, Kim, for stopping by. I’ve put your name into the drawing.
Thanks, Kim. This sounds especially challenging. So easy to get worn out! Hope you find some hope in the pages.
Thanks, Patti! I think you will enjoy it and hope you find a tip to use right away 🙂
“Wave the White Flag“ is a great reminder. I’ve had to apologize to my kids twice. Juggling job hunting not knowing exact date current job ends due to closure on top of working with a difficult mgr., & an elderly parent in and out of hospitals, and my own health issues with 2 teens have led to many family conflicts. Exhausted emotionally & physically makes being loving & patient hard. Feeling guilty neglecting kids.
Thanks for the chance!
Hi Annie, thanks for entering the drawing and commenting on “Wave the White Flag.” You are wise to see the wisdom and value of apologizing. And it sure sounds like you have lots of stress. I believe your apologies for your true mistakes are a huge healing for your kids. And I saw how God made our children much more willing to be forgiving than many of us adults. We can also be aware of the difference between God’s conviction and Satan’s condemnation. God offers forgiveness and freedom and hope. Satan offers hopelessness and distrust of God’s provision of forgiveness. I know many of my readers understand your challenges. Thank you for sharing. We are praying for you. I’ve been there and I’ve seen God’s redemption. Hang in there!
Annie sounds like you have a lot going on! I’m still waving that flag and my kids are older now 🙂
Hi, Kathy! ~ I was the mom that thought, “Boy, everything is going so well.” Our daughter is the best, accelerated in classes, kind, participated in school theater etc., never did anything that we had to reprimand her for but now her and I are clashing after some stressful and upsetting times in our lives. I feel real lost and my husband seems to bough out of listening. –
Oh Suzanne, thank you so much for sharing with us and entering the drawing. We need each other, don’t we? And it does amaze and unfortunately discourage us when the seemingly compliant child turns in some way. Interestingly, the daughter I physically abused is now an adult mom and wife who loves God and calls me her best friend. Our son who I of course got angry at but didn’t abuse, isn’t following God. While in the midst of my anger, I thought it would be the opposite. We never know what resides in the heart of our children and we aren’t responsible for their every perception and decision. Be assured God is guiding you more than you realize. And keep praying for your husband’s involvement. Forgive me for going into counseling mode, but also ask your daughter what she’s feeling about your upsetting times. We are praying for you! Thanks again for sharing.
Suzanne…this too shall pass! (Another tip in the book!) Hold on, I’m sure you’re doing a great job. Say a prayer and wait (one more tip.)
Hi Kathy! Four teenagers at home–yikes!!! I found it so much easier when they were little : ). Struggling with how to parent them well and not lose my mind or my cool. Love you!
Oh, my, Jeannine. FOUR???? at once????? Yikes. I’m feeling the challenge. I love that you used the words “parent them well.” So often we think we must be perfect and perform perfectly. So good for you! Even if we could be a perfect mom, each child would still have their own selfishness to battle. So be gracious to yourself because God is. He already knows the end from the beginning in each child’s future. And His Holy Spirit is more powerful than you to work in a child’s heart. Thank you for stopping by and entering the drawing. I hope you’ll get Letitia’s book either through winning it or buying it. It’ll be worth it!
Oh that’s a lot! I had 4 kids but only three of them were teens at a time. You’ll make it!
Congratulations, Jeannine! You are the winner of the drawing. I’ll connect you with Letitia. I trust this book will be a great blessing to you and I hope you’ll write a review for it on book stores online. Thanks so much for participating!
i am not a mother but this was a great blog
Danielle, thanks so much for making a comment and entering the drawing. I’m glad you liked Letitia’s ideas. Your comment made me realize that the ideas Letitia shares could be applied in every relationship, especially in the workplace. So thanks for giving us all that idea.
Thanks, Danielle…appreciate you reading, hope you found some helpful tips for other relationships!