Why Did It Seem I Shouldn’t Want Jesus to be My Shepherd?

When I was in first grade, I was challenged to memorize the Twenty-Third Psalm at Sunday school. And being the good little girl, of course I did. But the first verse perplexed me. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” I wondered, I’m not supposed to want Jesus to be my shepherd? I thought I was supposed to. I don’t understand. I didn’t ask my teacher, not wanting to be seen as ignorant.

I think there’s a story in Matthew 16:8 that reminds me of my experience as a little girl.

Jesus asks the disciples, “Why are you discussing among yourselves … that you have no bread?” 

Before Jesus says that, Jesus leaves the disciples after they feed the five thousand. The disciples cross Lake Galilee and find Him on the other side. As they join Him, they realize they forgot to bring any bread. Their stomachs must be rumbling with hunger.

Then Jesus says, “Watch and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (v. 6).

In response, we’re told the disciples start talking amongst themselves and apply it to their immediate problem: “We brought no bread” (v. 7).

Obviously, they immediately focus on the word “leaven” because bread is on their minds—and their stomachs. They are confused. They can’t “hear” Jesus’s spiritual warning about the lies of the religious teachers because they fear a possible rebuke for forgetting food. They think Jesus can’t hear them, but of course, He can. As soon as Jesus talks about leaven, they think their worst fear has come to pass. He knows the truth about us—we didn’t plan well. We are in big trouble.

The beginning of verse eight says, “But Jesus, aware of this, said, ‘O you of little faith …’” (italics added)

Jesus was aware the disciples were confused and He was also aware I was confused about the Twenty-Third Psalm. He knew He would help me understand in his timing. He is aware the disciples misunderstand.

He helps them figure it out by reminding them He just provided bread miraculously for five thousand. Bread isn’t the real problem. The lies of the false teachers are.

Interestingly, Jesus, who as omniscient God knows the disciples would misunderstand, could have chosen to rephrase his words from the beginning but He doesn’t. Their misunderstanding must have a purpose. It holds a life lesson they will use later.

I can appreciate now God’s purpose for my confusion about Jesus being my Shepherd which gave me a hunger for spiritual understanding. And when later I figured out the correct meaning, even though I didn’t know God was leading me into truth, I was not only relieved but enjoyed solving the spiritual puzzle. I like a spiritual challenge even now, recognizing Jesus builds my faith as I study the truth of the Bible.

The disciples could have avoided anxiety if they had spoken up instead of trying to figure it out on their own. God wants us to come to Him. After all, He is already aware of what we are going through. #trustGod #anxiety @elklakepubinc… Click To Tweet

• Is the thought of God being aware good news or bad news for you?
• Can you think of a time when forgetting God’s past provision caused you to misunderstand God’s intentions? How did God bring understanding?

My loving God, I praise you for your perfect awareness yet not with the intention of causing me fear. Thank you for understanding me as no one else can.

(This is a excerpt from Larry and my book, God’s Intriguing Questions: 60 New Testament Devotions Revealing Jesus’s Nature)